Do you ever wonder why when you actually think your getting through to someone. That you’ve finally broke down that barrier and it feels like you’ve won them back. Suddenly out of no where that person throws up that WALL and your back at square one and it feels like you’ve lost them all over again.

You both get to that point where your both laughing again, enjoying each others company, theirs no more arguing and it almost seems like everything is back to normal and you feel like your actually getting through to them. Your finally breaking down those Walls and Barriers they tried so hard to put up to protect themselves from getting hurt again. But somewhere along that windy road you, you hit a detour sign and then end up at a Dead End. Somehow you need to find your way back on that road again that leads back to their Heart!

All that hard work and effort you’ve put into the relationship, all the things you’ve done to try to make them understand that you are the right person for them and you would do absolutely anything to make them happy. You do everything you can possibly think of to make it right again. But it’s still not good enough ….. What do you do next?

My suggestion is give it more time. Don’t get frustrated, try putting yourselves in their shoes and try to understand why they feel this way. If you give them time and be there for them and let them know how you really feel. Things will slowly turn around. But if you put to much pressure on them to quickly, they might throw the wall back up again.

I think that people who have been hurt before or have a hard time accepting certain things
In their lives because of let downs or previous bad experiences build walls brick by brick
over time as a human mechanism to protect themselves from feeling those things again. But at the same token by putting up those walls to High or to Strong, they’ll protect and shelter themselves too much, that they’ll most likely not let anyone back in for a long period of time and get use to being alone that they’ll probably never find Love and Happiness again.

Sometimes those WALLS get stronger with time because they learn to live without the other person. Just like in one of my previous post “You never really stop loving someone…You just learn to try to live without them” This is true to a certain extent. They sweep everything under the rug, bottle up those feelings, try to forget what you had with each other and then try their best to start a new life without you in it, but somewhere in back of their minds, hidden way back there. There will always be that soft spot. This is where the brick wall is weakest and if hit in the right spot can be broken down again. If you can find that spot and trigger that emotion, that will bring back all those bottled up feelings they have for you, your on your way to breaking down that wall.

Personally the best way to find that soft spot is to spend a lot of good old fashion QT with each other. QT is what I call Quality Time. It’s so easy to just hang out with each other, but when you spend Quality Time with each other, it’s time that’s more cherished and remembered. The more QT you spend with each other, the more they want you in their lives and miss you when your not in it. A more in depth but not limited too definition of QT is where, you really make an effort to please the other person, where you go out of your way to let the other person know you really care for them. All that stuff you only usually do in the beginning of any new relationship. It’s all the little things, like actually listening to them when their talking, paying attention to all the things their pointing out to you, when they think your not paying attention (ex. window shopping and you purchase the item afterward for them as a little surprise) Complementing them on how good they look. This is where the power of touch and flirting really makes the difference, giving them the attention they so craved and needed before. Where you bring can bring it to a whole new level – Up Close and Personal. That physical element is so hard to resist when there right in front of you looking into your eyes. This is what I call a “Moment” where theirs that moment of silence between the both of you and you know they are falling for you all over again.

If you can create these Moments of Real Intimacy, spend a lot of good Quality Time with each other, your on your way in making a Real Connection with them and I think this time around you can tear down that Wall for good this time !!!